


i am relieved i left my room tidy, goodbye.

by decayedtree



Series: trahere [2]
Category: Bleach
Genre: again not explicitly said but. definitely written as, angsty, autistic kuchiki rukia, bleach drabbles because i can, i have problems with renji, i overuse the word “cold” because of thematics i dont explain im just emotional about it, kuchiki byakuya fucking sucks, not sure what to tag as, read notes!!!! tws are there just in case, rukia is sad, yes... i also have problems with my brother.. howd you know
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-02
Updated: 2021-01-02
Packaged: 2021-03-12 01:29:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 832
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28502262
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/decayedtree/pseuds/decayedtree
Summary: rukia sits in her cell waiting for punishment that doesn't hit her as deadly, cocky remarks to renji feel as natural as breathing; but then her brother visits.//finding out you’re going to die must suck, finding it out from the guy who was supposed to protect you? horrible. and then he tells you he wants you dead? no wonder rukia was having a bad time.
Relationships: Kuchiki Rukia & Kurosaki Ichigo, Kuchiki Rukia & Yamada Hanatarou, both just mentioned not really shown
Series: trahere [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1976287
Kudos: 3





	i am relieved i left my room tidy, goodbye.

**Author's Note:**

> title from mitskis last words of a shooting star. byakuya is shitty, as usual. tw for like. him treating rukia badly. kind of suicidal stuff. its hard out here. i dont like writing byakuya and it shows.

it's cold, rukia internally remarks, in her thin kosode. she never really thought of the soul society as a cold place, she’s a cool-blooded person in the first place, but outside of her layered soul reaper uniform and in a dingy cell, it is freezing. 

her teeth clack together, but she forces herself to clench her molars to keep her mouth straight, she cannot lose composure, the last thing rukia needs is a witty remark from renji or some idiot guarding her. 

god, renji. how could he think he has any autonomy over her? because he's byakuya’s lieutenant? it's been years since they’ve seen each other, so long that he feels unrecognizable despite having the same face, same grin, and the same idiotic hair. 

he lost himself at some point, or maybe the renji rukia knew wasn't him at all. even though she can laugh at him and make fun of him all the same. 

hanataro is warm company, he reminds rukia of herself when she was just starting, as green as could be, but still incapable of waiting around when she can be helping someone. he's selfless, she wishes she could say the same of herself. 

what could she do better though? 

she doesn't regret giving ichigo her powers, even if he took much more than she expected. he's a good person and a great soul reaper. his strength is astonishing, and his willpower is even more impressive. 

she misses him, rukia wonders even if he's still alive. the thought of him dead on the cement, bleeding out, coldly resting there while his family looks for him desperately makes her lose herself for a moment: teeth clattering once again, echoing along with the raps of a prison guard. 

“miss kuchiki, you have a visitor.” 

she blinks away those thoughts of kurosaki, blinking away wetness that would never drip. she has never cried since the death of kaien, she promised herself she never would again. 

the guard enters without her permission, as expected, but the man following him is so surprising she immediately stands from the bed built into the wall of her cell. 

“brother?” 

he looks at her the same as ever, with a freezing gaze. 

“do not refer to me like that, i have come here purely as the head of the clan you reside in, not as family.” 

renji is hanging around the door, she can see his red hair. she supposes byakuya asked him to give them privacy. 

“of course master kuchiki, my apologies,” she mutters, looking to the floor in shame. 

“your crimes, rukia, reflect badly on our clan. you understand this don't you?”

“yes, master kuchiki.” 

“they plan to execute you for your treason, i publicly endorsed this action.” 

she shakes, the cold of her prison and her brother's look getting to her. 

still staring to the floor, she whispers “the soul society is going to kill me… for one mistake?” 

“you do not stand by what you did?”

rukia looks up to his eyes, she does stand by it, and she won't lie to her brother about it, even if he sees their relationship differently. even if he wants her dead.

“i do, i just didn't intend to give him all my p-“ 

he waves a hand up and she silences herself as quickly as possible, “i won't hear your excuses rukia, your actions are horrendous and if the death of you is the only thing to bring our clan back to honor, then i will have no shame putting you down myself if needed.” 

her shakes become shudders, incapable of holding herself at all, she nearly falls to the floor. 

“i understand, master kuchiki.” 

he doesn't smile, he doesn't say anything at all. byakuya just leaves her while she holds herself in the storm he left behind. 

she’s going to die… and he wants to kill her himself. 

her brother wants her to die, and so does everyone else. does her captain want her dead?

byakuya is gone, and renji enters looking as cheery as ever. like if her death doesn't matter to him at all. 

“well? you heard the man. i’m sure you can guess where you’re gonna be going next, huh rukia?” 

“the. the isolation tower.” she says to him. not feeling as talkative as him for once.

“right! i'll be escorting you along with a group of-“

she lets go of her awareness while he explains the logistics of how her execution will happen, and of the time. she doesn't wanna know. she wants to pretend it's not happening. 

they take her from her cell, at some point through her dissociation, and they place her in a tower she never expected to be placed in. renji says something to her at the end, she can't bring herself to remember it. 

rukia stares out her small, pathetic window, watching a bird fly by and the people in the seireitei move along.

it is much, much colder in here than her old cell.


End file.
